WARNING! this is a post about having a fat day. If such topics make you feel a bit uncomfortable please navigate away... now.
The catalyst to this waffle is that I've put on an inch around my hips but lost one from my bust. Mother nature can be cruel.
I've always been a bit apprehensive talking about my weight for fear onlookers will believe I am fishing for compliments. Many girls, myself included, have fallen into 'that' mechanical ladies powder room-esque conversation...
"Oh I have such fat thighs, I wish I looked like you in that dress" ...
a brief silence ensues till the reply echos out...
"Oh no, I love how you look in that top, I wish my boobs were a good as yours"
I know the sisterhood should stick together and nurture one another, but sometimes we're allowed to feel genuinely... well, porky. And, today, that is how I feel, this post is certainly not seeking for any ego inflating comments to the contrary. I'm just a bit fed up that my crepe 30's dresses are a bit snug.
I also fear I could offend by speaking about it. I was once taken into the confidence of a gorgeous, leggy, size 8 siren. Whilst she complained that she had back fat I looked on trying to work out precisely where this elusive glutinous deposit was concealing itself? Each of her gripes made me feel increasingly hefty, my inner logic fathoming that if this nubile beauty thinks she's stocky then surely I'm beyond Rubenesque?
I most certainly do not want to alienate anyone reading about my love handle wallowings, in case they look at me and not be able to locate the extra inch I'm griping about but, as a result, suddenly become increasingly aware of their wobbly bits!
I think most women have body issues and I'm no exception. As a child I was always bigger than the other kids, my Scapegoat? ... Ostermilk; a powdered milk feed that "builds up" small babies... basically infant steroids... and as a teeny mewling ball of one month jaundiced prematurity I was doomed to be force fed the stuff. At 12 I developed into a rather rotund red cheeked teenager boasting a stone for each tender year and by my early twenties I had withered to a size eight through a mixture of stress and ridiculous eating habits, rice cakes alone were my friend... I was a miserable bitch!
Back on track at 29 I know I will never be a "skinny lizzy" (to coin a phrase from my Mother.) But I do like to feel svelte and the older I'm getting the more I notice sudden differences in my body shape, for instance that bump between the top of my thigh and hip... where's that come from?! And why precisely are my boobs shrinking and migrating south to my mysteriously expanding derriere?
And before you blame diet and exercise I can vouch that I'm active and careful, just not fanatical about my food intake, having lived on all those silly rice cakes and for a time only steak (oh I smelt... bad) I refuse to fall into "fad" diets and just stick to a healthy balance. I want cake I'll darn well have a piece! Life's too short!
What this post is getting at, albeit a little incoherently, is that if you're out there feeling a bit of the post Christmas wobbles and are a bit fed up about it then you're not alone. It may help to do as I'm trying to do and embrace those rogue lumps and bumps as a bonus extra feature... for a limited time only... 'till the Christmas pudd effects have worn off! ;)
G x
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13 comments:
My love, you have hit the nail on the head. This is EXACTLY how I feel at the moment. Word for word. And for me, it is doubly annoying and disheartening as I worked so hard to lose weight last year (and did a bloody good job - 2.5st) Alas. I took a "break" from slimming world (which has worked a treat for me) over my birthday, and then xmas, and then new year and decided that moderation was not for me.
Nom nom nom I went, until my old regular indegestion had returned and I was living off of Gavilast. And now? Having been back to SW last week and seen the damage on the scales for myself, I spent the weekend feeling like Jabba the Hut in a frock. I didn't leave the house on Sunday (hence I had time to set up the new blog!) because I just couldn't bare to wobble about in public.
Annnnyway - I am rambling. No woman likes their body, either full time or on the quiet. So you are not alone. But, you DO look fabbaluss in all outfits that you slot yourself into and I would really have to squint to see the randomly appearing lump you mentioned. But if you are convinced it is there, you either have to embrace it or banish it :)
(or buy some shapewear and suck the buggar in!)
What a grandly refreshing post :)
I have the best shapewear... M&S is my hero, but phew those big old knickers leave the same sort of red pinch mark as my black hat does in the previous post! (For the record chick I saw your '80s pic and thought how teeeny your waste looked, and my what legs. How can boys eat crap and stay so lanky... boo!) x
Now. Teeny looking waist pic is on account of the angle I am at and the hideous skirt that I have pulled up. if you saw me from the side - its a different story!
I reckon a couple of weeks of not having your cake and eating it will sort you out :)
Boys and their junk-eating-no-excersise-taking-booze-swilling slinkyness is NOT on. I comfort myself with the fact that when they are in their mid 40's, they shall all wake up FAT.
I witter on about how fat I am all the time, ooops! I think I'm not fishing for compliments though, more apologising for it!
I struggle so much with my weight. Moderation is not my friend, I love food. I lost about 3 stone on WW, unfortunately last year I put a whole stone and a half of it back on and I'm furious with myself for not dealing with it when things got a bit tight and letting it get out of control.
In a way it's nice to hear you bemoan your weight gain, as I always think how stunning you look! I hope that doesn't sound rude, it just reminds me, that like you and your leggy size 8 friend with back fat, all women seem to have issues with their size and shape!
While I'm complaining about my fat arms and short legs and envying someone else's slim hips they are busy envying my waist and hating their narrow shoulders.
*Sigh* Agreed on all points. I have saddle bags for the first time in my life and my mother (thanks mum) says they're here to stay.
Do something about it learn to love your new shape? Possibly a bit of both?
Alas such is life ... Saddle bags increasing waist size and crows feet....but fear not... as Gemma said that is why M & S sell shape wear and why vintage gals past and present wear girdles..
Learning to love your shape is half the battle the other half is camouflage....
Oh and not eating all the cakes x
God I could have written this post!
I too went from being a tiny child to a huge one, to a skinny teenager, to a not so skinny adult. I wish I had enjoyed my size more when I was in my late teens through my 20's, I was freaking tiny! Actually too thin for my height at one point if I'm honest.
I guess the difference is that whilst I do have fat days and sadly some parts aren't where they used to be, on the whole I'm actually a lot more comfortable in my skin now. I like me now, back then I was bone skinny and miserable.
I know I could do with losing some weight right now. When too much creeps on I do just that but on the whole I embrace the current me and as others have said wear the suck-it-all-in-hike-it-all-up undies when I need too.
This might annoy you, but I have definitely put on weight over Christmas and in fact over the entire last year, and I don't flipping care. No I don't like the extra weight, but I'll exercise a bit more this year and take control of my diet again and it will come off. I got so tired of analysing every inch of myself, I just stopped. I look fine, even if my trousers are a bit tight. And so do you my darling xx
*small pathetic whimper* from Lady Cherry.
I have blogged about this too and I know that some of it is body image, and what does it matter if Im on the wrong side of curvy, but then I put my skirt on and it's a bit tight and I get sent into a spiral of despair. I can't diet. But I can't stop blooming eating either. At this rate I am going to be the size of the Houses of Parliament.
I think I need a time out :-)
Jeez I could go on and on, I'm overweight, I hate how I look but will never 'diet' again, for the first time in my 44 years I am not obsessed with food, I have dieted, then binged, then dieted, then binged pretty much all my adult life it's not great!
Gemma you do right not to get obsessive, small changes can be made when you don't have lots to lose, it's easier than you think, for the likes of me on the other hand, who know!!
I don't know if it is psychological but after passing 35 I suddenly became aware of how much my face seems to be changing, and the battle against the grey felt harder. I'm sure I'll get over it. I try to throw my energy into the things I can change in my life (i.e my work, my shoes, my lipstick) and try and forget about the things I can't.
''the older I'm getting the more I notice sudden differences in my body shape, for instance that bump between the top of my thigh and hip... where's that come from?!''
Yep, I was wondering EXACTLY the same thing! It IS reassurring to know that I am not the only one who feels this way. I have a couple of close girlfriends who are both slinky beans, and my little sister is a dinky size 6 so I often feel like a complete heffer next to her. As I consider the prospect of motherhood in the near future, the thought of how my body will change fills me with nothing but dread...I'd better start saving for the boob job & tummy tuck methinks! (I mean it!) x
I recommend a nice old-fashioned girdle. ;)
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