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| I'm afraid it's critical |
Are you sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin... One cold, dark December morning a girl is waiting, alone, at a bus stop, a good ten minutes before it's due. Slowly the bus stop becomes busier as the bus is set to arrive. Appearing in the distance, the girl flags it down, it pulls into the stop... and the other 5 passengers barge past her to pluck the last few remaining seats. She really can't face standing for the whole the 45 minute journey so looks around the upper deck... BINGO! One passenger has positioned himself on the outside seat, but when the girls asks if she can sit down (being sure to include a polite smile and a please) she is scowled and sighed at as the chap begrudgingly swivels his behind in the seat so she has to trip over his knees to squeeze by...
And that was my journey to work today. I quite often encounter rudeness on public transport in London and it is one of my biggest bugbears. I have watched a pregnant woman stand in a crowded tube train, whilst many able bodied, nimble folk hog the seats (I hasten to add I was also standing, else my buttocks would swiftly have been peeled from the plush moquette seat). I've seen an old man slip over in a train station ticket hall and be stepped over by bustling commuters (Luckily the ticket hall staff and I were quickly on hand to help, fortunately he was OK) .... and if I had a pound for the number of times I have opened doors for folk, watched the world and its son walk through and not heard one "thank you" I would be a millionaire! On the flip side, whilst struggling with shopping bags a number of doors have been left to slam shut in my face as the person in front toddles away... so much for karma?
Gentlemen, please do not think I am attacking you, I do understand why you Blokes may no longer flamboyantly open doors. Woman have harped on for so long about equality and I fear Men are afraid a Lady will turn on them if they pull out a chair... "How dare you presume I am too weak to recline on my own?!" I am happy to open doors for Men and Women alike... as that's good manners... and good manners is what I have noticed is in short supply...
The general ignorance and rudeness of some folk disgruntles me. And it's not just the young (who I feel get an unfair telling off sometimes) Rudeness spreads across all ages.
We all need a chivalry makeover, Men and Women, Young and Old alike. Just a little human compassion, manners and awareness of those around us would make the world, and public transport, a happier place... Or am I becoming a Grumpy Old Woman?
Please, do tell
G xx
14 comments:
oh I just adore that picture! Hmm, London is quite an animal. I live in Norwich but visit London a fair bit as that's where the bf lives. It's quite a contrast indeed. I pride myself on my manners and holding doors, saying please thank you is as automatic for me as breathing, I just do it. In London, I'm often met with shocked suprise, ignored or people are just unsure why this girl just smiled or apologised for bumping into to them....am I a lipsticked up pick pocket? Am I a crazy lady?? You can see their minds thinking how to react sometimes. I guess everyone is so busy in their own zone and focused on getting where they need to be. Their heads are down as they charge to the destintion. Such a shame as it's when you actually look up that you see the world and all the people in it.
That chap on the bus - just plain rude! Some peope are just rude and angry. I have a theory that some people in this world just go through everyday being rude and mean, wether it's a stranger on the bus, a girl who serves them in a shop or the boy who delivers the paper. Let's hope he doesn't slip on an icy path and doesn't rely on the kindness of strangers to help him!
I experience this most days on a short commute to Guildford. I have come to the conclusion that I actually hate most people. Also - to the non moving man on the bus - I would have coughed in his face on the way past. And then kept coughing until he moved. And then followed him and coughed some more. In his face.
I agree that politeness in most cases is dead. I did an experiment once on the Tube from Kings X to Morden. In a 50 min journey I smiled at no fewer than 85 people. I got one smile back.
I think people are just in their own little bubble when they commute - but there is no need to be rude. Start coughing - that'll sort em out!
Some people are so rude aren't they. I have definitely encountered some lovely people on public transport though - I'm glad to say that as often as someone pushed in front of me to grab a seat, myself and someone else will do the 'would you like this seat' dance. And once when my ticket had expired and I had ended up making the journey without (pre-barrier days so I didn't know) and I was about to be fined by an awful ticket inspector, a man came over and said he didn't need the ticket he had just bought so I could have it. Some mornings the world seems to be conspiring in rudeness though, I don't think the nasty weather helps xx
Drives me mad too, it is probably my major bugbear. I have a very long fuse but rudeness is the one thing that can make me rage instantly.
I must say though I have found that just when my faith in human nature is about to desert me completely, someone will do something nice and restore it again.....only for it to be stretched to breaking again!
Ooh lack of manners is one of my bugbears too! There is far too much rudeness in the world these days which is why I try to instil into my boys that manners cost nothing and can get you everything.
I'm not sure if the man you encountered was a young one but I've experienced the same thing from someone, lets say old enough to know better - unfortunately I am very vocal about people and manners and will actually point out that they are being very rude - I think I am destined to become a crazy cat lady.
Chin up lovely, as long as there are people like us out there then fingers crossed there'll be a glimmer of hope!
Hear hear!
Bristol is far from being the home of polite people, but I don't think it's as bad as London can be. I regularly have arguments when getting on the bus - "after you", "no, you were here first", "no, really, I have to count out change" and so on.
It's heartening that some people still have manners, though I did regularly end up standing on the bus while I was on crutches last year...
I think nowadays chivalry isn't about looking after the weaker sex, it's about being thoughtful of those around you. And actually, being nice makes your day nicer in turn. Bums to bus man - he's miserable and will have a miserable day.
So true Gem! I've experienced the same rudeness a gazillion times while on my way to work too. The only upside? Err, it's far worse in other countries. London is still incredibly friendly compared to anywhere in Germany...
I spent many years traveling daily on the underground and the buses in London and neve experienced the sort of rude selfish borish and totally unacceptibale behavour that you have to tolerate.
Manners cost nothing but are one of the riches things to have in your personal make up.
Chivalry I would like to think is not dead, maybe it is alsleep and just needs a nudge in the right place.
It is true that some people are vile as far as manners are concerned. And I do think that sometimes it is because of some men are afraid of being accused of sexism. Sometimes I have to try very hard not to barge too...once someone tried to shove in front of me at the ticket barrier, so I said to him 'you know, if it is SO urgent that you get through the ticket barrier one second before me, then you could have just politely asked instead of shoving me out of the way...' fortunately he was suitably embarrassed, but there have been plenty of times when The Rude One has ignored me, or made a sarcastic remark.
And people seem ruder than ever more recently. I guess it's a sign of the tough times we are living in at the moment. But it's no excuse. Manners are one of the free things we can all implement in life that can make things so much more pleasant for everyone.
Sometimes I console myself with the fact that their lives must be so damn miserable if they cannot afford to say 'excuse me'.
When I was pregnant I used to smile at everyone who caught my eye when I was standing and they were sitting, just to make them feel a little incomfortable in their comfy seats!
I completely agree, Gem. I was brought up to be polite, hold doors for others, etc, and the complete and utter lack of common courtesy amazes and disturbs me. But I will continue to be mannerly and hope (delude myself?) that I am teaching others by example!
It's a shame, but you're really right, manners are obviously a thing of the past and not only in London. I (living in Germany) spent 15 minutes this morning queing behind a truck at the filling station and wondered whatever took the guy so long. I went inside to check and guess what? He was drinking coffee and eating a sandwich while his truck was blocking up 2 gas pumps outside! I asked if he would mind driving his truck away from the pumps so that other people could use them and I received a rude reply. So obviously it's not only totally ok to be inconsiderate, it's also considered impertinent to remind someone, albeit politely, that he is not the only person living on this planet and I am - roughly translated - a "stupid cow" for doing so.
Gaaah, if I start to let these things get to me I am going to end up a serial killer one day.
Din't understand totally :) Sure is better in english but sorry I've to use the translator ;) Love the picture for sure :D
grrr one of my bugbears too! I hate bad manners, I'm the same I open doors for men and women alike. I'm going to be controversial here though and say some of the rudest people I encounter are older people and I find this more and more since I've noticed it, it shocks me, as I thought that they would know better.
I do think though it depends where you are, I suspect London is not high on the politeness scale. I was appalled the other day when my husband as I were waiting for a lift in the Tate Modern, Paul using a disability scooter, so can't exactly get on the escalator, yet 4 times whilst we were there people ran in ahead of him, filled up the lift and we had to wait for the next one, it made my blood BOIL!
Oooh I hate rudeness and inconsiderate people too! I hate when people just barge past you and don't do the polite apology thing!
The world does seem to be a slightly ruder place.
We do need to remember ourselves that sometimes people just have bad days I think as well, normally polite and lovely people can be transformed into ignorant pushers in by a very bad morning!
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